Save me from myself
by HopelessRomantic1994
Summary: Her mind continued to spin as the overwhelming thoughts all screamed at once. As the darkness closed in, she felt suffocated. What if she was right? Would the darkness consume her until she couldn't fight it anymore? Oneshot


**Okay I know I haven't posted anything in a while and I apologize for that. But the weather here in England has been so hot and I couldn't be bothered to write, but I'm hoping to post chapter five of CoD Bloopers soon and then (finally) finish my other stories too! But here's a one-shot based around Volume 14 Ch 6, it was an epic chapter and I hate to see what the Firstborn is doing to everyone! I remember Genevieve telling Natara that she had a darkness inside of her and she was just holding on to Mal as a way of trying to escape it, so this one-shot is about Natara and how she may have been feeling after the chapter ended. I hope you like it!**

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Her mind continued to spin as the overwhelming thoughts all screamed at once. As the darkness closed in, she felt suffocated. What if she was right? Would the darkness consume her until she couldn't fight it anymore? Would she break away from her anchor; her light? Would she finally give in to the evil she feared most? She felt herself slowly getting weaker. As the grey cloud loomed over her head about to break out its storm, following her with every step she took. Walking down the street, she blurred out all sounds of life. Only feeling the guilt that weighted heavily on her chest. She didn't mean those things she said to him…did she? He did what he did for her, to save her life. That's how much he loved her, so why did she question it? She'd do the same for him, of course she would. But just for a second in that moment, she doubted herself and that's what scared her.

She stood before the unkempt grave in the corner of the vast cemetery. With no flowers rested by the plain headstone reading 'Shawn Mallory'. Taking a shaken breath, her hands trembled. The darkness sliding its icy grip around her head and heart, holding on tightly until she gasped for breath.

"We got her, Shawn. Genevieve's in custody…I have to wonder if she got to us first. Sometimes…sometimes I think she's warped me like she warped you."

She felt her breath catch in her throat as the darkness tightened its grip on her heart. As it tried to pull her down, she managed to stay above the surface. At least for now. The memories flashing through her head like a kaleidoscope. She heard her screams and the pain in his voice. Pulling away in a feeble attempt to shake them, she paused. Reliving the words she spoke, as if she were there all over again. The sting from her tears and ache in her heart, feeling as real as it did the first time.

"Today, I wasn't just willing to lay down my life for what I believed in…I was willing to let the person who matters most to me in the world be utterly destroyed. That would have sacrificed everything I thought I was saving…I think Firstborn's going to cost me. I think I'm to going to end up here right beside you…With no one to lay flowers by my grave."

In that moment she felt truth in her words, her fear hiding in her eyes as she blinked away tears. Taking a step back, she sighed. She'd always been the strong one, always sure of who she was and what she stood for. But now…looking at the person she'd turned into, she didn't have the answers anymore. She was just so tired. Drained. Looking back, her knees went weak threatening to give way. She knew deep down this was her fault, leaving him for so long to the point where he traveled here to find her. Being so blind that she couldn't see the person he was turning into. And being too late to save him from himself. She knew she was next and no matter how strong she thought she was, there's no way to stop it. When she turned to walk back, she saw it. Her darkness as it stayed close, walking beside her. Holding on tightly.

As she let out another shaken breath, she wiped away her tears. The walk home was again silent and blurred. And she didn't sleep that night. As she laid in the arms of her light, she watched the darkness as it streamed into the room. Once again watching her with its menacing eyes. Clutching tightly to her light, she tried to bury herself in the hopes that it would offer her an escape. But the darkness still sat watching, patiently waiting for her to give in. Waiting for its chance to manipulate her fear. And drag her into the abyss. But the one thing that terrified her the most was…she was beginning to lose her grip on her light.

And it was only a matter of time before she let go.

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**Please review! Jade x**


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